My Experience Being a Hot Mom

You are allowed to want to feel hot. Not just healthy for your age or for a “mom”. Just genuinely hot in your body, and this episode is your permission slip to admit that out loud.

This week I am sharing the unexpected things that have happened since I started feeling like the hot mom...the things nobody warned me about and the things that have seriously changed the quality of my entire life at 46. Some of it will make you laugh, some of it might make you emotional, and all of it will make you want this for yourself if you do not already.

Think this is what you want too? I still have a few 1:1 spots open, and summer is one of the best times to start. APPLY FOR 1:1 Coaching here!

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME: Send me a DM on Instagram @thislifeuncluttered or on LinkedIn @laurenlynnmelton

I’d love to hear from you! 

Transcript

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Welcome to This Life Gets Good, the podcast where we talk about what it actually means to feel good in your body. Because around here, we don't just settle for healthy. We believe you're allowed to feel good everywhere you go, at work, at home, and yes, even whilst you're burning your kids to practice. I'm Lauren Melton, founder of This Life Uncluttered, mom of two, and living proof that life can get really good after 40. I help high-achieving women to lose weight, feel hot and healthy, and bring that confidence into every part of their life without doing more or burning out. I know that when I use the term hot mom, it resonates with so many of you. And I also know it can feel a little cringe and somewhat unrelatable for others. And I totally get this. I really do. Because it took me a while to fully embrace it in my marketing. Like even when I knew it was what my clients really wanted, whether they were willing to say it out loud or not, like I knew it. And I knew it was what I was helping them achieve. But you know, all that good girl conditioning that we have, right? That can make us feel so uncomfortable when it comes to acknowledging desires we really have, especially when they feel a little bit sexual or maybe somehow based on appearance. Like we can just feel really uncomfortable with that. I get it. I was raised Catholic. My mom was a principal of a Catholic elementary school. Okay. Like I've had my own journey to get to this point I am today, with comfort and recognizing that it is a hundred percent okay to want to feel hot, to want to feel good in your body, and that that doesn't make you vain. It doesn't make you selfish, it definitely doesn't make you a bad girl. So today I thought I would share some of the unexpected things that I have experienced now that I do feel like the hot mom. And since I have allowed myself to embrace it, since I think some of it will help you to feel more comfortable in allowing yourself to admit if you have this desire too. And for those of you who are already on board, you're gonna love this. Before I get to that list and sharing that with you, I want to give you a little mindset exercise that I have found really helpful myself. And it's something I have done with some of my clients too. I want you to take a minute to envision what feeling like a hot mom really looks like. What does it really feel like? Like specifically to you, not my version, but your version of that. So we're seriously gonna go through this now. Like, feel free, close your eyes for a second. If you're not driving, if you're driving, do not do that. I want you to take a minute and actually kind of go through a few prompts that are gonna help you to build the vision of what feeling hot might look like for you. And I get it if this feels a bit too woo-woo, like I I understand that. But remember, these are the type of activities that pro athletes do. This is what CEOs do. The identity that you're gonna build is unlikely to happen if you can't even see it as a possibility. So we've got to start by building that vision. And that's what we're gonna do now. Okay, so get yourself comfortable and let's do it. I want you to think about this. How do you feel when you're entering a room and you generally feel hot in your body? Like you're not sucking anything in, you're not scanning around trying to see what do people think about me or are they looking at me? None of that. You just walk in, you just take up space and you just confidently feel like you belong there because you actually do. Like, how does that feel? What do you look like? What do you feel like as you enter that room feeling hot in your body? What does it feel like when you walk into an important meeting at work and you feel confident and hot? Or date night with your partner, or maybe even just like the school pickup? Like, how does that feel in your body? What does it look like? Like, actually paint the picture in your head. What does it feel like to get on the scale in the morning and not let whatever number it shows determine how you feel about yourself for the rest of the day? Like, what would that be like? What would that feel like for you? I want you to really sit with that picture for a second because that version of you, it is not a fantasy. This version of you, it's not someone who has better genetics or more time in their day or a different life altogether. This is you with the right plan and the right support. So you have systems in place that make consistency happen for you, like just automatically. But this is you. That vision is you. And here's what I want you to think about all the unexpected things that are gonna start happening, in addition, right? Like all these things that you're gonna start feeling that you probably didn't even think would happen when you feel like a hot mom. And I'm gonna share some of that I have experienced because generally some of them have surprised me, and I think they're gonna surprise you too. All right, so let's dive in. It's gonna sound funny what I'm gonna start out with, but I've realized that putting in the time to get to where I am today has created more time in my day. Yeah, seriously. I mean, I'm not sitting around bored or anything. My life is still super hectic. I'm a single mom with two teen boys, I'm a business owner, right? I've got a lot going on. But there are dozens of things that I used to spend a lot of time thinking about that I just no longer have to even consider. And that feels so incredibly expansive. I'm gonna share the two that I feel have been pretty impactful. And I have a feeling that a lot of you are gonna be able to relate to this. Here's the first one that I experienced. I no longer waste time deciding what to wear. I used to spend probably 10 to 15 minutes every single day trying on a bunch of different outfits, getting frustrated, throwing them all over the floor, eventually just giving up and running out the door in something that I still didn't feel great in. And then I would get home from work and I'd have a bunch of kids to deal with. Bunch. I have two kids. I'd have my kids to deal with. And then I would see my room with clothes all over the place, like hung over my Peloton, all over the floor. It was ridiculous. I was wasting so much time trying to put on clothes and figure out what I would actually feel comfortable in. I want to actually do the math on this because I think this is where it's gonna be like really eye-opening. Let's say it's 15 minutes a day, which honestly, maybe it was a little less some days. Some days it was probably way more. But if we take that 15 minutes a day and we multiply that by 365 days a year, that's over 5,000 minutes a year. It's exactly 5,475 minutes, which is over 91 hours. Yeah, I was wasting over two full work weeks a year just deciding what the heck to wear. And we're not even talking about the time related to shopping. I mean, I used to spend hours ordering clothes online, going to stores to try things on, returning things, and still struggling to find clothes that I felt good in. I spent time trying to find the right type of spanks to fit under dresses for work receptions, trying on dozens of bathing suits, and then just ending up wearing a beach cover-up the entire time, anyways. I don't even want to do the math there because to be honest, I might want to cry if I did. And I have a feeling you can probably relate to this. It was a lot of wasted time that I just don't even want to think about anymore. And I don't even have to. Now I throw on my outfit and I feel really good in it. I shop less often, and added bonus, I'm spending less money on clothes too, which has been a wonderful added benefit. There have been a lot of surprise benefits here, and this one for sure has changed my entire life. I also have found clothes that just genuinely work really well for me, and now I just repeat them over and over. And that has been a system I have loved and embraced for sure. So yeah, I do not miss at all the amount of time I spent wearing clothes. I don't have to do that anymore. And that has been a huge, unexpected benefit in my life now that I feel hot. Okay. The second one, it's another time suck. I no longer waste time deciding what to eat. And now this is where the math can get really crazy. This is the one that, like, if I didn't blow your mind already on the clothes when we go through this one, you're you're definitely probably gonna feel that. Now let's talk about the second area where I really felt an impact. This is where things get really crazy on the math. If the clothes one didn't blow your mind already, this one's going to. I want you to think about every food decision you make every day. Like, really think about it. Because today, I no longer waste time deciding what to eat. I don't waste time thinking about food in the way that I used to. Like all those questions, like, oh, what was I gonna have for breakfast? Like, is this enough protein? Am I gonna have a snack now? Should I wait for lunch? The question we all dread, what's for dinner? Do I have anything thawed? Should we order out? No, I shouldn't order out. Okay, right? All those questions. It isn't just one decision, right? That's probably like 15 food-related decisions we're thinking about, like making every single day. And there was a study years back done by Cornell that said it was like 200 plus decisions. And listen, they were probably getting really nitty-gritty about what constitutes a decision. But needless to say, there are a lot. And when you're someone who has been struggling with your weight and your relationship with food, that number is almost certainly higher than 15 decisions a day. So for some people, it might be like, I don't know, five minutes a day spent on decisions related to food. But let's be honest, for most of my clients, or before they come to work with me, it's not five minutes. It's probably closer to like 20 or 30, right? Like if you're spending your entire commute thinking about like what you should or shouldn't have eaten for breakfast to fit in that work reception later on. Or if you cannot fully enjoy dinner out because you're worried about the scale jumping tomorrow, like it will always seem to do every time you have a single piece of pizza lately. Like there's a lot of time spent thinking about food. So let's say it's 20 minutes a day. 20 minutes a day, 365 days a year. That's 7,300 minutes per year. Yeah. That's 121 hours, which is over three full work weeks a single year. Not spent on work, not spent on your kids or your relationship or anything that actually matters, just on freaking food decisions. This is where having a system to make these decisions for you with your meal planning and your grocery shopping, it saves so much time. The outfit math, right? That was the 91 hours. The food math, like that's 121 hours. This is over 200 hours a year. That's five full work weeks spent on two things that should barely register when you have the right systems in place. And you could look at this like as the cost, right, of not feeling good in your body. But I really like to think of this as an opportunity. Like this is one of the greatest opportunities. And I know that sounds cliche, but it really is. Because here's the part that really got me when I finally realized it. That mental load, it wasn't just costing me time, but it was costing me presence. I know this because I felt so disconnected and not present before I lost the 75 pounds. And it wasn't just the number on the scale. It was how I felt. It was the confidence I brought or didn't bring back then into these situations. This is what I mean when I say feeling good in your body can give you your life back. Yes, you will feel incredible in your body, but you'll also have more bandwidth and be more present. You're gonna have increased mental space to actually do the things that matter. How incredible does that sound? These are the things that are hard to quantify when we're talking about making investments and things to support ourselves. Like this is where it really changes your life. So let's dive into the topic of being more present because it was a real surprise to me. Like, I really didn't realize just how much discomfort in my body was holding me back from being fully present. It was really holding me back, especially when it came to enjoying time with my boys. And this one, it makes me sad when I think about it. Like, I don't want to shame myself. I was doing my best, I really was, but I used to avoid playing with them at the beach. I did. I like I would hide myself. Now I'm tossing the football around with them most days. And yes, like this might sound selfish. Like it would be nice to have a minute to read my book to, but this has been such a win. Like them wanting to play with me still, even though they're teenagers. Or like riding bikes. Like we do this all the time now. And it's so fun to jump on our bikes and ride into town and grab an ice cream, like on a hot day together. Something I could not have enjoyed years back. I know I would have been worrying about like, what did my legs look like? Like, what shorts would I put on? Like, I probably wouldn't even have worn shorts and I would have been sweaty and my thighs be chafing. Like all those things would have held me back from really enjoying the moment, like really being present. And the bonus here is that my kids are seeing this confidence. They're seeing a strong, confident mom thriving. Like, how freaking good does that feel to know that I'm setting that example for them? That they're growing up thinking strong and confident women are just what moms look like. And yes, I'm not gonna lie, it doesn't hurt when I get stopped in like the Trader Joe's parking lot and asked what workout routine I get for my toned arms. Like that has happened multiple times. Funny enough, just last month at a family wedding, this happened where I felt so incredible. I hadn't been to a wedding in over nine years. Like I'm well past that a wedding every weekend phase of life, you know, now that we're in our mid-40s, that's just not happening now. It was my cousin's daughter, and she's in her like mid to late 20s, and so is her uh husband now. And so a lot of the guests were the same age. And when I looked around, and this was an amazingly active, like good looking group of like fun, wonderful people, and I felt like I fit right in. Like I felt strong and confident. And funny enough, one of the 20-somethings, she stopped me and she asked if I did Pilates to get my arms. And I nicely thanked her and said, No, um, it's actually lifting weights. And I didn't start a whole debate about how Pilates couldn't get these results. I wasn't gonna go on that topic then, but I accepted the compliment and said thank you. Um, and felt incredible. And in my dating life, yeah, it has felt incredible to feel hot and strong and confident in my body. And yes, even in my sex life. And I know these are the topics that I'm like, oh, I really hope my parents aren't listening to. But it has. It's felt incredible to feel this good in my body. I'm not avoiding intimacy over fear of my thighs or my belly or discomfort or whatever that is. Like, I'm feeling pretty darn sexy. And to be honest, this is something I could not have imagined a decade ago. Feeling more like myself at 46 than I did at 36 or even 26 has changed the quality of my entire life. So let people call it vain. Let them call it selfish. I don't care. I know that it's so much more than that. I know it's changed my entire life. And this is what I love helping my clients feel too. Like one of my clients, she just got back from a European vacation with her family. And she shared with me how she didn't have to use the seatbelt extender for the first time in a while. And she sat comfortably in her seat the entire trip without worrying. Like, am I being in the way of someone else? Like every train that they got on, she wasn't worried, like, oh gosh, am I gonna be like bumping into someone else? What an incredible thing to feel. To get to this point of feeling comfortable while traveling, she's lost over 30 pounds and gained so much strength and muscle. No wonder she's feeling like this. And honestly, she didn't even recognize how life-changing it was until she had an opportunity to acknowledge and celebrate a win in one of her check-ins with me. And that's why we do it. Because she was in this point where she's like, I didn't even realize how much I'd done already until I reflected back to her. Holy heck, that's life-changing, right? To go on a trip and enjoy yourself and not have to worry about something like that. Or another client who just got back from a trip to New York where she didn't even track her food, right? She just enjoyed having the foods. She had some extra treats. When she got home, she ended up seeing the scale hit a new low a couple days later because she just got back to it. She was no longer stressing over food decisions. She was able to enjoy her trip and feel incredible too. She's lost over 13 pounds and she's looking so strong from her workouts. It's incredible that she now feels so confident navigating these food decisions in New York City, right? In a way that used to feel so heavy. Or another client of mine who also just got back. I have lots of traveling, traveling clients lately. It's the season for that. She just got back from a camping weekend and she said this was the first time that she enjoyed herself without using it as an excuse to be gluttonous. Yeah, she admitted that. She said it actually didn't feel like a big deal because she had a system that we had built out for her to keep hitting her goals and still enjoying her life. She's down seven pounds in 10 weeks. And she also told me the other day, oh my gosh, this is like the cutest story. She was telling me how her four-year-old daughter had made a little play-doh barbell and then told her how strong she is. I mean, seriously, how cute is that? So amazing. Her four-year-old daughter is seeing her get stronger. She knows what a barbell is, and feeling confident, like, oh, I want this for all my clients. And I want this for you too. You can have this too. I still have a few open one-on-one spots left. All three of my clients that I mentioned, they're working with me in a one-on-one capacity right now. And they're all seeing accelerated results. Summer is a great time for this for so many reasons. And we're capitalizing on that for all of them. And it's working. One-on-one is something that I like to really make sure makes sense for both of us. So I do have you fill out an application in advance because I only take on women that I know I can really help because that's what I do. So if you're ready to start feeling hot too and enjoy so many of these unexpected benefits that come with it, head to the show notes, apply today. I would love to make this happen for you too. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of This Life Gets Good. I am truly grateful you chose to invest your time to listen. Your feedback matters here. And if you found this podcast to make a difference for you, please take a minute to share a review. Once a month, I'll select one lucky listener who shares a review to win a live 101 strategy call with me, where I'll personally coach you on your exact next steps to see weight loss results and finally feel hot again. And if this episode made you feel seen, share it with a friend who deserves to feel that way too.